{ BEAUTY - ♛

WRITTEN BY CHANDA

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{ FANTASYLAND }

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Ask Memes ;; Sass Edition

mooskadoodle:

  • You can’t fight me, you’re miniature. 
  • Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug. 
  • People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
  • Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
  • Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
  • I hope karma slaps you in the face before I do.
  • You know, it only takes four muscles to just extend your arm and bitchslap the twat. 
  • Congratulations on being an awful bitch who’s completely oblivious to the fact that everyone hates you. 
  • Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
  • My business isn’t your business; so unless you’re my thong, don’t be up my arse. 
  • I may look calm, but in my head I’ve killed you three times already. 
  • I would retaliate against your snotty remark, but since you resemble a garden gnome, I’d say the joke is on you. 
  • I thought I saw your face on my newsfeed but it turns out it was just a picture of a potato.
  • You want to walk out of my life, there’s the door. Hell, I’ll even hold it open for you. 
  • I don’t do fashion, I am fashion. 
  • Somewhere out there there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breath. I think you owe it an apology. 
  • I’m only single because I’m too sassy for everyone.
  • Bitch please, have you seen me? I’m a princess. 
  • I think, therefore I’m single.
  • Life’s too short to bullshit.
  • If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.
  • When in doubt, freak ‘em out.
  • I’d rather die my way than live yours.
  • Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
  • Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.
  • I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
  • It’s simple, if it jiggles, it’s fat.
  • Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
  • Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
  • I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
  • If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.
6 years ago with ♥ 16188 — via , source
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